The best things in life aren't things
I took this picture the very first day I got to New Zealand. I was in New Brighton with people I had just met and had to share an AirBnB with them that night. This whole situation was very intimidating, just like I thought the next 5 months would be as well. Right off the plane, we went to the beach, got into the AirBnB, showered, and went out on the town to get dinner. Like the picture depicts, the town was pretty rundown and New Zealanders were walking around barefoot, confusing all of us. We walked around the town a little before deciding on a restaurant, and we passed these words on the wall. It's cheesy, but at the time I just thought it was cool graffiti on the wall. I completely forgot I had taken it until I came across it last week while I was looking at group photos to post from the trip. Coming up on one year since I met some of my favorite people, I realize how ironic it is that I took this photo on the first day. It completely describes how I feel about those 5 months. Those people got me through those 5 months and made them what they were, and still are in my mind today.
"The best things in life aren't things."
The day our whole abroad group met each other, I came to the event having just been crying in my empty apartment. My roommates weren't there yet, I didn't have any close friends, and I didn't know what I was doing. Then comes Ava. She was with me the first day in New Brighton and since I knew her a little bit, I walked to her at the first group event. It was obvious I had just been crying, but she decided to ignore it and have a regular conversation with me to cheer me up. Later in the week, a group was planning their first weekend trip, and Ava thought to invite me. That invite changed my whole experience. Ava is the most bubbly and outgoing, yet secretly insightful and wise individual you'll ever meet. She's always running around, busy as can be, but if you get a chance to sit down with her and make conversation, she'll make it so worth while. Ava, your spirit is one of the main reasons "love it already" became my motto. Your attitude towards me and the situation from the start, your fearlessness; that's what made "love it already" come to life. I know I've never told you that, but thank you. I love you!
Meeting the rest of my closest girl friends came kind of as a blur; by the time I knew it, we were holding hands kayaking down a river in the middle of Christchurch. Savana, Ava, and Haley became my closest friends almost immediately because of our link between IU(PUI) and being from Indiana. Savana and I actually met up for lunch before the trip even happened and I knew we would be close from that moment on. The four of us clicked so well and still do today, I'm even going to see them this weekend to commemorate our 1 year friend anniversary!
Haley is apart of the IU crew as well and boy, do I appreciate her ability to talk and share her life. We had inside jokes about how many stories she would tell us, and yes it was funny, but I really did appreciate the openness more than she knows. I have always been one to overshare about my life, hence why I use a blog to share my stories, so knowing Haley... I was never afraid to share anything about myself with her. She never made me feel like I couldn't tell her something or that I would be judged for anything I had done or would do. The more you get to know her, the more you start to understand the things she been through and how you can relate to her in a multitude of ways. I don't want to share her story, as that is her job, but there are specific parts of both of our stories that have hit home for me recently. Having someone who understands and is willing to speak on personal experience is extremely valuable to me, because I often feel that no one truly understands. There are sides to her that I believe not many people see, but I did/do. She's bubbly and energetic, but she can be quiet and a good listener. She is careful about the things she says, and when she feels comfortable with you, she'll spill whatever is on her mind (which is a good thing in my book). She can be insecure sometimes (I noticed), but reassuring her was an easy task because of how amazing she is. I am so thankful to know you, Haley.
Savana and Evan came as a package deal because they've been dating for... three, four... years? Who's counting? They're my absolute favorite couple I know and I'm so glad to have met them. Evan, separately, has influenced me much more than I think he realizes. See, Evan is quiet until you get to know him, he's goofy and light hearted in everything he does, AND a fantastic cook. I have always longed to be great in the kitchen, and Evan lit that fire back up during those five months. We both have a dream of owning a restaurant of some sort when we're older, but mine seemed a little less realistic in terms of motivation and skills. However, Evan so effortlessly persuaded me to go for the dream that I had packed away in a closet somewhere. I had always wanted to open a business of my own; I was actually a Business major my first semester of college, but I quickly shut that idea down thinking that I could never be that driven or intelligent. Evan's passion for food changed my entire mindset and made me realize how passionate I am about food as well. The first day of school this past fall, I went to my advisor and added a Business Minor, told her my dream and who inspired me to go for it. I hope to finalize a menu with his ideas in mind and serve him as one of my first customers within the next 10 years. Thank you for quietly inspiring me to fulfill my dreams, Evan. I will always be in your corner and I am so excited to see go wherever your mind takes you.
Savana came into my life before anyone and I honestly wouldn't have it any other way. She has played a monumental part in my life before, during, and after going to New Zealand. She and I went to the beach one day after classes and on the bus ride back to our apartments, we got into a deep conversation about religion and our testimonies. We both shared our stories and I knew from that point on that she would be important to me. Even when we'd sit in silence doing homework at C1 coffee shop in Christchurch, it was so easy to be with her. Fast forward to this fall, I went to IU to hang out with the 4 IU friends, and we all caught up on how life was going. I wasn't doing very well so I was honest, and Savana made sure to establish boundaries in our friendship. What makes us comfortable/uncomfortable, what we need from each other, what we don't need, and what we can do to help in any way. Nobody had ever asked me something like that before, and I couldn't answer her right away... but I eventually did and I think it has helped our relationship so much. Fast forward to the situation that led me to go into treatment at the hospital: Savana is the friend who sat with me in the bathroom stall for 45 minutes calming me down. She asked the right questions and helped me admit that I needed more help. I have never had someone be so honest, so real, and care for me so much. Savana, I will forever be indebted to you for the friendship you've made for us. I appreciate you more so much more than any words can express. I hope you like the picture I chose to use :)
Billy, Seth, Natalie, and Kathleen were also apart of my core group of friends and they made the group so much more lively for special reasons. Billy, for being the one to plan everything and make sure we were all taken care of. We all had special quirks we'd joke about all the time, but I believe the jokes were some of the best qualities about us all. Billy has a natural instinct to take care of the people that mean the most to him, which is incredibly admirable. However nurturing he was, he had a goofy side to him that lit up everyone around him as well. When he had an off day, the whole group had an off day because of the way he affected all of us and how much we wanted to care for him as much as her cared for us.
Seth, for being the most carefree person I have literally ever met. His special joke was about him being late to things and never knowing what time it was, or biking too much, or being diabetic. Again, the jokes were the best qualities. Being late to things and not knowing what time it was went along with his ability to be free with whatever he was doing. He almost never had a plan, which enabled him to do exactly what he wanted in any given moment. Something I have aspired to do for a very long time. His biking and diabetes - these things show that he knows what he's doing and he takes care of what he has to do. Biking is his passion, his favorite thing. His diabetes is something he has, but also has to take care of. He took care of both of these things to the best of his ability at all times - seeing him make his passion and his health priorities in his life shows incredible strength to me.
Kathleen, for being the most competitive. She's the type to enter in the Christchurch marathon while training/beating her mile time every week. Her focus and drive to be the best at something, again, that I strive to be like. There are so many different characteristics to a strong leader, and Kathleen has all of them and more. Along with her drive to succeed, she puts that same effort in caring for her friends. I had a breakdown while caravaning through the North Island and she talked me down the best she could. I sat up front the next day and she talked me through my different emotions and tried to help me make sense of them. She showed this same compassion for the rest of the group as well.
Natalie, for being the mysterious one (in my opinion). I didn't get as close to Natalie as I wished to, but the conversations we did have made everyone laugh with her ability to be so easygoing. She's sweet and caring, and still knows when to stand up for herself. The way she carries herself, with strength and confidence, was incredibly admirable and something she inspired me to be more like every day. I truly do carry that with me still to this day.
My roommates weren't moved in when I first got to Christchurch, which was really hard for me. But the moment they got settled, I will never wish it gone any differently. Freddie and Kitty made my new home feel just like a home should feel. They were SO respectful of all our shared space, our own thoughts, and our own individual lives. They both had such a calming presence about them that I desperately needed in flat mates after being with my energetic group of friends the majority of the time. Occasionally we'd throw parties, cook dinner together, go grocery shopping together, and it was the perfect situation for a person like me. I wish I could've packed them up and taken them to Indy to get an apartment with me. They were the perfect homecoming every day and I will never speak a negative word about either of them, because I would be lying if I did. Thank you both for showing me respect, kindness, wisdom, and love in everything you did.
Amira - the most beautiful person, inside and out, that I've ever met. She is the first person in New Zealand that I told about being bisexual and the girl I was talking to... and she said, "Okay, cool!" like it didn't even phase her. She encouraged me to always be myself and share my life with the people I cared about. She showed so much strength after the attack in Christchurch, something I can only dream of having in my lifetime. She always took care of her people, and in turn, they wanted to take care of her because of who she was. She took me to my first gay bar and made sure to tell me every few minutes that if I was uncomfortable, we could leave; if I wanted to go talk to a girl, to go to talk to her; if she could do anything for me, to tell her what it was. I saw her back in October at an airport for the first time since June and it was so amazing to see her aura so bright in our real lives, apart from New Zealand. The easiest word to describe her is beautiful - it encompasses everything you need to know.
Madison - we didn't spend an incredible amount of time together, but whenever we did, it made me feel so good. Seeing you on campus, meeting for coffee, celebrating your birthday, and facetime calls even after we got back home. You always had so much kindness and so much of Him in your heart and you so badly wanted to do right by everyone who came into your life. I want to say - you are strong and you are worthy of so much more than you give yourself credit for. You are so sweet, so kind, and so good in your heart and I have all the faith in the world that you will get what you want to get done, done. Thank you for showing me your heart, even though it was hard to do at times. I am honored to be in your life.
These people, plus several more, made my 5 months the best it could've possibly been. I am so blessed to know them at all, let alone the depth in which I do know them.
Here am I am to say: the best things in life aren't things.
Love it already,
- Tess
